. . .Shut up!

Basil Bernstein is a sociologist that had a theory that supported the Social Reproduction theory. I forget the name of his theory, but the concept of it will never be forgotten. He believed that the vernacular that people use is a determinant of how much success they will attain, nevertheless the class they will occupy. This theory that entails "restricted and elaborate codes"that just dictates how competitive a person may be in the future.

I feel the same way about slang. Pay attention to these fillers that people use that usually result in a loss of respect in many cases:

• man
• like
• ya know what i'm saying
• um
• uh
  

These words when used in the way of "I don't agree with that man." or "Like, I cant agree with you on that one" or "I gotta disagree...ya know what im sayin" show that that person is looking for approval of what they are saying. If the person simply stated "I don't agree" shows confidence and self-confirmation on why he doesnt agree. Confidence always equates to respect (but presumptuousness doesnt). So next time when you are speaking to people...consider your fillers.

On another note, my two most recent books I have are "48 Laws of Power and "How to Win Friends and Influence People". They both state the same thing; You get more out of life when you don't talk as much. people who talk more than they listen often times are talking so much to compensate for something they believe they lack. A person who listens more than anything build comfort in their presence which in turn builds trust. With this trust you have power and also a very loyal friend. What you choose to do at this point with that power and trust is up to you but remember that not alot of people can get to this point. Listening equates to control.

One more thing, if you do talk...try not to talk about yourself too much. Every time I have done it, I say something I regret saying a week or two later. Not becuase I have went back on my word, but I realize the privacy, control and respect I lost inadvertently.

So...to wrap it up. SHUT YOUR YAP!!...and listen more. If you do talk, be mindful of your fillers and try not to talk about yourself.