Monday, July 05, 2010

Truth Is...

 I don't know how to be a friend.
 Although I do have a scapegoat, I can't keep allowing it to bail me out of my situations. I've never really practiced the art of friendship. Ironically, I have never been lonely either. I meet people, greet people, and leave people. I cant seem to get beyond getting my feet wet when approached by the depths of friendships. It's not on purpose at all, however, I have just never been "shown the ropes" to diving into friendship. Yet, I have mastered the art of backstroking. Even when I was convinced that I did have friends, I never really trusted them. Their blatant ulterior motives exuded through their fake smiles and weird acts of kindness. So instead of building relationships,  I always defended my fort. Now that I am in college, I realized that after a year of schooling I am not sure who I can really call my friend.

4 ppl talkin' to me:

iforgotmyname said...

yeesh... i can relate to this too well that it scares me. well, the last half, at least. not trusting the people i call my friends...always watching out for everything, making sure i don't get hurt... everyone having some ulterior motive or trying to use me... i don't like being that way. o.0 staying like that would make one end up alone... the typical straight-from-a-movie answer that keeps popping up in my head is that you just have to put yourself out there and blah blah blah.....

'Kalos' said...

Thanks Butterfly. After much introspection, i've realized that the absence of inner peace disables me to befriend, genuinely. I've decided to spend a couple moments every day to just meditate. It's very relaxing.

Trevor L. King said...

My man Kalos! I am very sure that you have many friends that love you for you and enjoy who you are. I know first how hand how hard it is to trust people, but that's just life brother. You have to give all of yourself, to people that you meet,all at once. Time will let you know who's using you and who's loving you. .... and i'm down with the meditation "Huuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmm" lol

J'Nae said...

I have that same problem smh but like you friend Trevor said "Time will let you know who's using you and who's loving you". Being alone is something I hate too, especially since i'm an only child. Sucks =/

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