I've created this habit of putting down compliments. It's gotten to the point of me disliking compliments all together. It's almost as if all comliments are all apocryphal. For instance, I have a group of friends that stay down the hall from me in Graves (residence hall here at Morehouse) and everytime they see me they say "I wanna be just like you." I always blow them off or I will take it a step further and ask them what that means. They never elaborate. This makes me think there is some type of furtive purport within the context of thier compliment. However, with this dogma I have accumulated, my self-esteem has not been affected. I have been brainstorming hard for some time now as to why. My assumption is there is other ways for one to gain or sustain thier self esteem. Here is where my thesis falls incomplete; What other mediums are used for one to gain self-esteem apart from compliments?
4 ppl talkin' to me:
Sometimes you just got to know you're the shit. Let's just say it will come from certain experiences and when you begin to compare yourself to other. Still, make sure you have a sense of humbleness though. I've learned that recently.
Self asteem comes from within...Compliments or comments of others can affect that but in the end YOU have control over how YOU feel
True, you have to KNOW yourself...but we don't come to "KNOW" anything without affirmation of some sort!! so whether affirmation starts in the home, school yard (as a child), or extra curicular activities, Children need self-concept building interactions to help mold them throughout their growing lives!! By the time we have reached our adulthood, we have a handfull (or more) 'beliefs' about ourselves that may be true/false, but nevertheless they are often supported by our affirmations!
If a child who is overweight growing up, has parents who feed self-worth, the value of being unique from others, & overall acceptance of one's individual beauty from a young age...it will be EASY to identify this child as your ATYPICAL "fat kid"! this child is more apt to have a wonderful self-concept regardless of what others say...more likely to have a popularity factor (grade school),as a result of their confidence, etc.
self-esteem is learned just as much as it is shaped and guided by our social, cultural, & racial differences! So ultimately, as prospective parents,teachers,leaders, etc... we will have a great influence on how our children view themselves...
Experiences from yesterday tend to shape our views of Today.
Kweli - Did you just tell me to think cocky but not be cocky? lol...I find that extremely hard...
J-star- I agree but. What happens when I control it by comparing myself to others and then the other may be better than me in everything. #epicfail right?
Shandra - Very helpful. I guess self-esteem has to be instilled enough until it is intransigently embedded within us. So how can we maintain stability until we are to that point of embedded self-esteem.
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What you say shawty?