Kalos Proverb

A hurtful experience can teach you a lot; however, the lessons can hurt the next person even more.

I've been fucked over a lot. Often times I'll try to see the reasoning behind the fuckery and it usually provides me with a better understanding of the situation. It makes forgiveness a lot easier and moving on quicker. But there comes that time when you can't understand the reasoning. You can't see the good in the situation and you wonder why the hell is it happening to you. It's those thoughts that kill you.

It makes forgiveness so much harder but when you do get over it, there are self constituted contingencies that hinder reconciliation. You don't want to talk to that person immediately. You'd rather them hit you up first to see if they really care. Cocurrently, you will find out their true feelings while remaining elusive to an inferior  posture. You'd rather let them prove to you they care before you even begin damage repair. But what if they don't care? usually it's not hard to tell and it comes out pretty quickly when they are guilty.

I've always seen this nonchalance as a chance to allow me to strengthen my internal stability. However, that stability doesn't mean shit when you are going to subconsciously create a defense mechanism towards possible recurrences in the future. You're going to be stable and lonely because the next person will be forced with a job only Cyclops or Kung Fu Panda can perform. They'd have to  drill through a much deeper wall to your quintessence and take on all the problems your exes have provided. It's really a deep whole to climb out of.

So how does one combat this mental warfare? Dennis Kimbro provides me with the best direction for elaboration. In Think and Grow Rich he talks about how stupid humans are. He says they are powerful beyond measure but won't ever enjoy this power because they don't realize it. In one particular part of the book he says that power is the ability to control your thoughts. So with the aforementioned warfare, you really just have to focus your thoughts in other areas and the impact of the experience will wilter away--slowly. What I've experienced is an increase in productivity, wealth, and intelligence. I just happen to become more proactive, thirstier for scholarships and more indulged in books when I'm recovering. So if you get hurt,  get stronger in the recovery process.